You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
