Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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