Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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