It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
