I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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