God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
