Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
