The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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