we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
