Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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