Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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