My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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