Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
