btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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