things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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