I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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