you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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