I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
