What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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