i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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