I'm jealous of your bromance
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Randomize
