You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
