Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
