puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
