You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
