I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
