Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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