I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
