found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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