Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize