What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
