Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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