hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
