a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
