The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
