They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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