Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
