Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
