So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
