I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
