Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
