marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
