Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
