so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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