DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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