why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
