i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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