i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
