I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
