I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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