He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Only a mothe r could love this liver
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
