Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize