nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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