I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize