is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
