literally had 100 drinks last night.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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