we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
