Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
