Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
MIDGETS
????
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
