listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
