how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
