I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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